Early Spring

One one hand, I thank God for this weather, because I'm pretty sure a cold day would send me over the edge. The sunshine and warmth is really keeping my spirits up, and I plan to exploit the day by working from a local park. On the other hand, the title of this week in my purchased environmental journal is "bluster," and this week is certainly anything but. There's not much "lion" in March so far. I find it hard to wish for bluster, but ultimately I want our climate to be in check.

Exodus to Me

Previous posts have asked questions about the historicity of Exodus (a topic I'm still interested in and invite suggestions about reading material). I came across a great source awhile ago (to be located later) questioning what is "true" in a historical narrative. How much, and what of it, has to be factual in order for it to be true? Can there be truth in it if the details are wrong? I'll leave that debate to be picked up in another post. For now, I'll share the nuggets of truth in my life.

I remember reading the Exodus narrative in my gusto in following Christ, full of zeal, when everything seemed so "clear." Every wrong was so obvious that no thinking person could possibly be entrapped, and the same could be said for sin in general throughout the Bible and in our lives. However, the pitfalls don't usually appeal to our intellect, they appeal to our hearts, which is why it's important to remain "in the vine." Right now, I can relate to the children of Israel, wandering in the desert. God has done some ridiculously incredible things in my life, and I can look back at how he parted the seas and got me to where I am. God has a plan for my life that he has been weaving since childhood, and I am blessed to see many of the threads clearly. However, I'm a little "disconnected" from it all right now. I haven't settled into a church community and I am spiritually thirsty. Though it is apparent that God is unchanging and is the same God who has provided everything I need in the past, I'm having some hard times with all the (nontrivial) stress of this semester. I'm being tried manifold, and maybe it's just what I need to remember to truly lean on God and find rest there (since I'm now having a hard time finding rest anywhere else). However, God understands, just as he understood and was gracious with his new nation of Hebrew people. I think, in that sense, I need to ask boldly for what I need. However, I'm afraid I'm finding myself wanting to make idols. This God is wonderful and good, but not something I can reach out and touch, and right now I'm dying for that...I'm yearning for Love to appear to my human senses. I'm wanting a voice to tell my ears that everything is OK. I fear I'm at risk for chasing something false, so I need to re-center and listen/look with my spirit. To those foolish children of Israel, wandering through the desert and in need of comfort, I hear you.

"So he went out from Pharaoh and prayed to the Lord." - Exodus 10:18

Getting "Ahead"

I'm in the office working on a lab due in 2 weeks, but only the part we've already gone over. I got here around 1pm and have worked on part of another lab and finished the one due tomorrow. These take forever! I got a laugh at my quick disillusionment with these awesome classes looking back at a post when I first started. Don't get me wrong, they're actually really informative, but I am not a fan of how confusing parts of them can be. For one of my classes, the instructions are a little too vague. While I actually appreciate that our hands aren't being held through every step, we're also new to this software and a lot of the concepts, so if we haven't directly gone over some of the topics covered, it's easy to get lost. For example, in the lab I'm running now, I'm not even entirely sure what my "goal" is for the image I've selected to work with. I could really use a more explicit lab prompt.

Until then, I'm wasting a beautiful Sunday afternoon in this windowless office.

Happy Leap Day!

My 1st ever leap day post on this blog; unfortunately, this day was nothing special and in fact a little depressing. The never ending cycle, especially since I worked into the wee morning hours on a "makeup" assignment since I missed a class discussion last week while I was sick. That class already has plenty of assigned work, so I felt like it just kicked me further behind. Once again, I'm exhausted at the end of a Weds, so I'm trying to decide how to spend the rest of the evening. I could go to sleep now, but I feel I should stay up a little longer and do something...but what? I saw this end to the day yesterday. I'm too sleepy to think through the lab assignment that will likely take me all day tomorrow, and I'm 2 back in digital image, to be compounded Friday w/next adv land lab. I just don't feel like I can get my head above water, and the one week I had a chance to (last week) I was sick. Why can't I catch a break?

Climate

I've been experiencing, pontificating and posting about the changing climate, a phenomenon much better felt in the mid west than in the coast-moderated climates. This winter has been crazy, and this is coming from a girl who's lived here a month! Where's the snow-covered ground? Why was my snowshoe class cancelled? Why was the ice fishing event on the lake cancelled? According to that link, the winter has suffered the most, and temperatures are projected to make this a St. Louis type climate...how miserable does that sound?

I think I need to better understand how the whole political controversy over climate change started. I understand bits and pieces, but in order to really understand the skeptics, I need to know better why this has become some sort of an issue. 

Winter Weather?

I know this is kind of terrible but I'm really hoping for a brutal winter storm tomorrow. Why? So my meeting is cancelled...I have a meeting out of town tomorrow and I'm still feeling sick. I'd rather meet our collaborators when I'm on top of my game. My head is still foggy. I'm willing to step up and do what's best on the timeline for everyone involved, I'm just not feeling 100% up to it.

Climate Gate

Have you heard the awesome news this week? Heartland Inst got so busted by a sneaky climatologist Peter Gleick. He was distraught over his underhandedness. While I agree that it's better to do things fair and square, I don't think we would have seen the other side's dangerous cards otherwise. I like that they acknowledge that "it's only a theory" is a useful tactic to dissuade teachers from teaching science. While we should know our subject in and out, know that there's one whose simple tactic is just trying to break your confidence. Read to your heart's content...but hopefully a public win. By the way, anyone else surprised by how little press this is seeming to get relatively?

Being Sick Sucks!

Another wrench...yesterday, I was starting to come down with a sore throat, but that was NOT stopping my plans. I noticed the swollen lymph nodes on Friday but ignored, no symptoms yet. This morning, I woke up with half a voice and an awful feeling throat. I've been sleeping and otherwise resting, loading on vitamin C and good food, with the goal of being ready for the 2nd half of this week, the half that really counts. Weds is a crazy day, and Thurs we're going to La Cross to meet our project PI. This weekend is the ski retreat. Luckily, one of our profs is out and I at least got the reading material out of our seminar class this week, so no falling behind. Tomorrow, hopefully I can sit in on the citation manager workshop I've been wanting to go to.

Anxiety

At my previous (and much missed!) church, a friend preached and prayed over me that anxiety was not what God wanted for my life. I was doubtful; I wondered if it was the Pauline "thorn in my side" to keep me humble. I think we all have struggles for sometimes unknown reasons, but I don't see a single one that doesn't result in growth, and in this I can see myself growing. I think I need to stay rooted in God and be bold in him. Further, I was thinking while checking out a new church today, is anxiety a trait I would expect in someone who was sharing the gospel with certainty? No! I think the causes of my anxiety are manifold, but I am finding the affirmation that it is to be overcome.

Looking at scripture, it's interesting how little the NASB uses the word "anxiety" as compared with the NRSV. The story of Hannah, the one where she has no children but "the other wife" has offspring, goes a little something like this: Peninnah jabs at her barrenness (probably because she's jealous that their husband loves Hannah). She's so upset by the whole situation that she goes before the Lord, praying inaudibly. The priest thinks she's drunk and tells her to go sober up.

"Do not regard your servant as a worthless woman, for I have been speaking out of my great anxiety and vexation all this time." - Hannah, 1 Sam 1:16 NRS

The NASB translates "anxiety" as "concern." Clearly, she's upset, but what's the difference? The Hebrew word is: xyX


I think the NAS gets "siyach" right; it's actually a noun. It's most literally translated as musing, meditation or complaint. This word (I would guess) seems to refer to her actual prayer. Though she's very distraught, I don't know that it's the same as traditional "anxiety."